on an unrelated note

Because of my craziness lately, I have been speaking or chatting on MSN in strange ways. This post will be used to identify what I could have or could have not meant when I said those phrases. I may not have used some of them before, but I will, eventually.

Let's start off with the one I can remember the most:

"Go kill a cow"
Well I used this when Ben said something like he appreciated Tokyo Phila something Orchestra's music and I was like go kill a cow. Meaning, "oh sure, why are you telling me?" No, I have nothing agaisnt cows personally but I do enjoy eating them. Steaks mmm... but anyway the word cow came to me because of a lame joke a heard years ago. Here goes:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Cows say
Cows say who?
Cows don't say who cows say moo!

Okay that was very inspirational but it lacked luster. So, I added kill which naturally sparks more interest. Considering that the joke was so lame, saying killing something already so lame means that the thing I said it to is meaningless to me. So if some guy runs up to you and says "lol dude my pokemon have all reached lvl 100 lol" just say back to him "go kill a cow". It will leave him wondering and you snickering. Confirmed.

Next, not really "unused by man" but I use it very often nonetheless:
"No worries"

What do I usually mean when I say "no worries"? Well, you must be thinking that I'm asking you not to worry. To the contrary, it kinda means "don't disturb me". For example, if I'm playing dota and then some random dude shouts

"b
b
b
b
b
b
b
b
ur gonna die"

I usually reply "no worries", which is also a way of saying shut up. Secondarily, it could mean that I'm asking you not to worry.

Next, used often on the net, I use it in a different way:
"Hah LOL"

Well normally when people say Hah LOL on msg boards and such it's because of something some joker said. To me, I say "hah lol" when some dude says a lame joke. I'll say "hah" like I'm going to laugh then suddenly when he thinks his joke was emmy winning I'll look bored and say "LOL". The poor guy usually walks away thinking of how he oculd have improved his joke.

Then again, I say "hah lol" when someone says something witty. For example, "my cat died" then I'll be like "go kill a cow" and then he follows up with "my hamster ate it". I usually end up saying "hah lol". (note:the above example was not very witty but for demonstration's sake...)

I might also say "hah lol" like normal people do. Some guy says "a guy walks into a bar. ouch". Apparently, the joke is that the "guy" walked into an iron or steel bar or something then he hurt his head or something. But I'm sure we all knew that.(Because you know the "bar" is actually the place where people drink and normally people come up with lame jokes like Jack Daniels Single and some guy is like Jack Daniels Married and some shit like that... but you know...) Then I'll say hah lol so as to make the fella feel that his joke was appreciated.

Also I PLAN to start saying:
"You're under arrest for being lame"
which is rather contradictory duncha think? so I shall not use it for my own sake XD

Sometimes I tend to write in perfect English.

I'll be like "Hello old chum nice day isn't it? I really admire the weather today. I find the haze very sexy." in perfect English.

Then the receivant would be like "charles wtf?"

"What's the problem? Is there anything wrong with the manner in which I am speaking?"

"oi tok properly leh"

"I'm terribly sorry, I'm having far too much fun speaking this way, old chap."

"oi charles wats wrong wif u u becoming ang mor ah" (sigh where's the question mark)

Usually the receipant gets irritated resulting in several consequences or results.
1. The receipant gets angry and blocks me for talking like a retard.
2. The receipant talks in the same manner, which is rather hilarious.
3. The receipant continues talking in singlish and I start critisizing his speech
4. And many more, all of which grant me joy and laughter.

I usually talk like that when I'm bored. I have no idea why though. In a way I'm trying to get you to entertain me.

A new one:
"Let's not kick fun"

Which kinda means like "don't disturb the retard". I have not used this phrase yet and I intend to use it if I see someone disturbing Giap Xuan, aka Soon Peng. It's fun to see him disturbed, but at the same time it's mean and I'm not a meanie so I have to step in.



Hmm I think I'm done. I'll post another time. SHIT CAN'T WAIT FOR DEATH NOTE L IS SO COOL.

well, till next time. seeya

.-twisted

Interview: DotA Freak.

I intend to start a new series which would, if I have the dedication, be posted every week or so. For my first episode, I am going to be interviewing someone named Tommy, who is a DotA freak.

Me: Hello there, Tommy, please have a seat.
Tommy: Thank you.
*sits down*
Me: Well, Tommy, you have been chosen to be the star of my pilot of the new series in my blog, "Interview". How do you feel about that?
Tommy: Well, honestly, I'd rather be at home playing DotA and pwning all those nubs out there on the Battlenet, for I am teh 1337!! But I'm fine, however, one does *cough* not *cough* need a break from DotA from time to time. =)
Me: Right... Anyway, first question, how early did you start playing DotA(which from now onward I shall just refer to as dota)?
Tommy: lawl not early enuf d00d! If I had started like just 2 years earlier I'd be the best in the world.
Me: So when exactly did you start?
Tommy: Well, I can't tell you. Prying Bastard.
Me: You know, you're not infront of your computer, I still can hear what you're saying.
Tommy: Umm, sure. Whatever... noob.
Me: ... ... ... Okay, which is your favourite hero in dota?
Tommy: Finally you're making sense. Well since I am so great, I play random. Damn show offy pros playing random to show off how diverse they are eh?! Why how dare they I'm gonna f-
Me: TOMMY! Watch your language. Calm down, here, have a drink of water.
Tommy: TYVM. That means thank you very much. lol nub.
Me: I can hear you.
Tommy: Right.doombass
Me: Anyway... do you prefer Scourge or Sentinel heroes then?
Tommy: Me prefer Sentinel. Me like Tiny. Tiny cute. Tiny BIG!!
Me: Yo, Tommy. Snap out of it. You're acting all random.
Tommy: Jinkies! I never thought about that. Stupid retarded Bloodseeker users. They think they're so pro when they win! Bah! Strygwyr is 1mb4!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: One-M-B-Four??
Tommy: Imbalanced. LOLWTF LMAO U DUNNO?
Me: Oh. Right. Do you think CM is pretty?
Tommy: Like YES LOL I wanna marry her. Mortred also if she wasn't wearing the funny hat.
Me: WTF. I think I better skip a few questions *looks queasy* Who do you think is more poisonous, the Netherdrake or the Venomancer?
Tommy:Tough question. I'd have to say Venomancer. It has the word Venom in it. NONE OF YOU REALISED THAT RIGHT LOL NUBS KEEP BACK QUARANTINE DON'T COME NEAR ME I MIGHT CATCH YOUR NUBBY CONTAGIOUS TO THE EXTENT OF PRO EXTINCTION.
Me: Mmmhmm.... Do you think King Leoric is cute. My friend insists so.
Tommy: Huh who's King Leoric? NO SUCH HERO LA.YOUR FRIEND NOOB!
Me: Eh... King Leoric... the Skeleton King??
Tommy: What skeleton what king!! The only skeleton in the game is Pugna the Oblivion! Heh I teh 1337.
Me: What about Clinkz and N'aix? They're skeletons too!
Tommy: Oi! ** *** **** **** *** Don't come mess up my mind okay! Where got such hero in dota! What clinkz what nah-ex! You never play dota before you don;t come here talk cock okay!
Me: Interesting response.. Do you think Rapier is overpowered?
Tommy: Overpowered?!?! Go and die! Rapier so lousy. 250 damage how to kill Pudge? When +1000 dmg then come talk to me about "power".
Me: Do you enjoy using Phantom Lancer? Gay hero eh clones and all. *winks*
Tommy: LOL PL lousy la. Okay la. Tell you secret la. PL ah actually not supposed to play clones one. PL is actually a tank. Lol his HP damn high mah? Clones ah, IceFrog only wanna trick you. Then everyone thinks he's used for clones, actually I know the secret. Just Buy 5 Hearts and one ring of regen can already! Confirm win enemy gg liao.
Me: Eh... what about Necrolyte? Cool ulti eh?
Tommy: Necrolyte ah... hmm not bad la. Just buy 6 aghanim can already. Wa piang you know or not the ulti become 3hp for every point missing leh! Like that whack one quarter hp then scythe enemy confirm gg liao. Then because got so many aghanim hor, just press death pulse whole map take 1000 dmg. Because aghanim increase the range and damage! Eh I just told you all another secret. Shit la now everyone know so many secrets I how to win.
Me: How about SoulKeeper then? Another interesting ulti!
Tommy: Lol let me see ah. Oh yah soul keeper hor must play my style. Buy 6 hearts. You know why? when you sunder your hp so high baddie wanna fight back also bo power le. Smart tactic right. I pro lar... Won't hear from other ppl, my strategy...
Me: Is that so... Well, we're almost at the end of the episode, anything you'd like to say?
Tommy: Okay lar, I tell you guys one mroe secret ah. For faceless void buy 4 aghanim 1 boots of speed (DONT UPGRADE, got special ability cheat code) and one chicken. KEEP THE CHICKEN WITH YOU. after you keep the chicken for 45 mins EXACTLY your chicken will absorb the powers of your 4 aghanims. then after that drop the chicken and give the chicken the boots of speed. after your chicken gets the boots of speed send the chicken to roshan and because of the aghanims Roshan will die and drop one item known as the POWER PAK! When your chicken pick it up it will cimbine with the boots and your chicken will become roshan with +50 movespeed. gay right? BUT THATS NOT ALL! now use your chicken (which is now roshan heh heh) and go destroy your enemy's fire bush. Don't worry about the fire roshan not pain. once the firebush is destroyed the sena beazel will lose their invulnerability. LISTEN CAREFULLY! Kill only Beazel because if you click on sena IceFrog keyed in a failsafe which would end the game in your enemy's favour, wasting your effort. SO don't touch Sena, although I know many of you sick perverts want to.
Me: Who's he calling "sick pervert"... wanna marry CM eww....
Tommy: Anyway, once Beazel dies he will drop what is known as the Key of Destiny. Kept it to himself lol selfish bastard. Once your roshanchicken picks up the Key, the four recipe shop owners will lose their invulnerability. Kill the Night elf one(the wisp) and then it will drop the "IceFrogBladeOfOwnageInTheGameOfDotA". It is the most powerful item in the game. However, you must pick it up QUICKLY or the enemy will pick it up, after all, it is in their base. IceFrogBlade, all heroes on your team will receive maximum attack and move speed. Gain 99% armour. Heh 100% would be too gay so IceFrog made it 99%. And + 5000 dmg. GG!!! Walaoeh enemy sure scared shit their pants.
Me: That's all eh? You may go now thanks for coming!
Tommy: Thank you for having me.
Me: Well, that's all, folks! Tune in next time for the next episode!

Full of dota crap.

.-twisted

exam inations

i don't feel like speaking in proper english today, so, yeah you might not see many capitals after fullstops and so on.

anyway this post is completely unrelated to the title. it says examinations but it is in no way fun to talk abt examinations. so i shall talk about dota. im not a pro but anyway lets see. oh yes on wednesday yuan zheng leland and farhan came supposedly to play dota. (dunno how though, only got one com). anyway, leland was first and he chose dwarven sniper. i was like oh ok then WTF he added scatter shot.

he was like oh u need scatter shot cos its aoe and range is not as important. farhan and i were like "right...." but then after his first death at around 5 minutes i took over. but it was already one skill point wasted and my lane partner was kinda useless. after another 5 mins we left the game. who cares la ban just ban la who cares i cant even play battlenet because of umm... reasons.

then we called sean soon then he bullied the shit out of leland and yuan zheng then farhan got angry and went into rage. kinda. he asked for rm and avenged yz and leland. i was like "yay next is my turn" but then sean said he was tired. walaoeh where got such thing. so yeah i convinced him to play custom hero line wars and suddenly his tiredness evaporated. anyway i owned him and i went to play with ben.

fortunately i was losing when joachim called so i was more than happy to call for rm. so bryan and i 2v1ed joachim with our homemade gay combos.(which arent that gay but since we were winning ill just say its gay) usually after about 10-15 mins when bryan and i use combos he will call for rm reason being "i cant farm". poor joachim.

then leland took over and he did some shit and chose naga siren. he was talking abt her proism and how she can net and watnot. ben took over again and chose shanzeldare silkwood. fav hero ah wtf always choose her. suspicious. anyway, they got owned by joachims omnikknight, which was hilarious from time to time. yes, i needed a laugh.

anyway im gonna stop here and do another story post. byees guys.

.-twisted