I intend to start a new series which would, if I have the dedication, be posted every week or so. For my first episode, I am going to be interviewing someone named Tommy, who is a DotA freak.
Me: Hello there, Tommy, please have a seat.
Tommy: Thank you.
*sits down*
Me: Well, Tommy, you have been chosen to be the star of my pilot of the new series in my blog, "Interview". How do you feel about that?
Tommy: Well, honestly, I'd rather be at home playing DotA and pwning all those nubs out there on the Battlenet, for I am teh 1337!! But I'm fine, however, one does *cough* not *cough* need a break from DotA from time to time. =)
Me: Right... Anyway, first question, how early did you start playing DotA(which from now onward I shall just refer to as dota)?
Tommy: lawl not early enuf d00d! If I had started like just 2 years earlier I'd be the best in the world.
Me: So when exactly did you start?
Tommy: Well, I can't tell you. Prying Bastard.
Me: You know, you're not infront of your computer, I still can hear what you're saying.
Tommy: Umm, sure. Whatever... noob.
Me: ... ... ... Okay, which is your favourite hero in dota?
Tommy: Finally you're making sense. Well since I am so great, I play random. Damn show offy pros playing random to show off how diverse they are eh?! Why how dare they I'm gonna f-
Me: TOMMY! Watch your language. Calm down, here, have a drink of water.
Tommy: TYVM. That means thank you very much. lol nub.
Me: I can hear you.
Tommy: Right.doombass
Me: Anyway... do you prefer Scourge or Sentinel heroes then?
Tommy: Me prefer Sentinel. Me like Tiny. Tiny cute. Tiny BIG!!
Me: Yo, Tommy. Snap out of it. You're acting all random.
Tommy: Jinkies! I never thought about that. Stupid retarded Bloodseeker users. They think they're so pro when they win! Bah! Strygwyr is 1mb4!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: One-M-B-Four??
Tommy: Imbalanced. LOLWTF LMAO U DUNNO?
Me: Oh. Right. Do you think CM is pretty?
Tommy: Like YES LOL I wanna marry her. Mortred also if she wasn't wearing the funny hat.
Me: WTF. I think I better skip a few questions *looks queasy* Who do you think is more poisonous, the Netherdrake or the Venomancer?
Tommy:Tough question. I'd have to say Venomancer. It has the word Venom in it. NONE OF YOU REALISED THAT RIGHT LOL NUBS KEEP BACK QUARANTINE DON'T COME NEAR ME I MIGHT CATCH YOUR NUBBY CONTAGIOUS TO THE EXTENT OF PRO EXTINCTION.
Me: Mmmhmm.... Do you think King Leoric is cute. My friend insists so.
Tommy: Huh who's King Leoric? NO SUCH HERO LA.YOUR FRIEND NOOB!
Me: Eh... King Leoric... the Skeleton King??
Tommy: What skeleton what king!! The only skeleton in the game is Pugna the Oblivion! Heh I teh 1337.
Me: What about Clinkz and N'aix? They're skeletons too!
Tommy: Oi! ** *** **** **** *** Don't come mess up my mind okay! Where got such hero in dota! What clinkz what nah-ex! You never play dota before you don;t come here talk cock okay!
Me: Interesting response.. Do you think Rapier is overpowered?
Tommy: Overpowered?!?! Go and die! Rapier so lousy. 250 damage how to kill Pudge? When +1000 dmg then come talk to me about "power".
Me: Do you enjoy using Phantom Lancer? Gay hero eh clones and all. *winks*
Tommy: LOL PL lousy la. Okay la. Tell you secret la. PL ah actually not supposed to play clones one. PL is actually a tank. Lol his HP damn high mah? Clones ah, IceFrog only wanna trick you. Then everyone thinks he's used for clones, actually I know the secret. Just Buy 5 Hearts and one ring of regen can already! Confirm win enemy gg liao.
Me: Eh... what about Necrolyte? Cool ulti eh?
Tommy: Necrolyte ah... hmm not bad la. Just buy 6 aghanim can already. Wa piang you know or not the ulti become 3hp for every point missing leh! Like that whack one quarter hp then scythe enemy confirm gg liao. Then because got so many aghanim hor, just press death pulse whole map take 1000 dmg. Because aghanim increase the range and damage! Eh I just told you all another secret. Shit la now everyone know so many secrets I how to win.
Me: How about SoulKeeper then? Another interesting ulti!
Tommy: Lol let me see ah. Oh yah soul keeper hor must play my style. Buy 6 hearts. You know why? when you sunder your hp so high baddie wanna fight back also bo power le. Smart tactic right. I pro lar... Won't hear from other ppl, my strategy...
Me: Is that so... Well, we're almost at the end of the episode, anything you'd like to say?
Tommy: Okay lar, I tell you guys one mroe secret ah. For faceless void buy 4 aghanim 1 boots of speed (DONT UPGRADE, got special ability cheat code) and one chicken. KEEP THE CHICKEN WITH YOU. after you keep the chicken for 45 mins EXACTLY your chicken will absorb the powers of your 4 aghanims. then after that drop the chicken and give the chicken the boots of speed. after your chicken gets the boots of speed send the chicken to roshan and because of the aghanims Roshan will die and drop one item known as the POWER PAK! When your chicken pick it up it will cimbine with the boots and your chicken will become roshan with +50 movespeed. gay right? BUT THATS NOT ALL! now use your chicken (which is now roshan heh heh) and go destroy your enemy's fire bush. Don't worry about the fire roshan not pain. once the firebush is destroyed the sena beazel will lose their invulnerability. LISTEN CAREFULLY! Kill only Beazel because if you click on sena IceFrog keyed in a failsafe which would end the game in your enemy's favour, wasting your effort. SO don't touch Sena, although I know many of you sick perverts want to.
Me: Who's he calling "sick pervert"... wanna marry CM eww....
Tommy: Anyway, once Beazel dies he will drop what is known as the Key of Destiny. Kept it to himself lol selfish bastard. Once your roshanchicken picks up the Key, the four recipe shop owners will lose their invulnerability. Kill the Night elf one(the wisp) and then it will drop the "IceFrogBladeOfOwnageInTheGameOfDotA". It is the most powerful item in the game. However, you must pick it up QUICKLY or the enemy will pick it up, after all, it is in their base. IceFrogBlade, all heroes on your team will receive maximum attack and move speed. Gain 99% armour. Heh 100% would be too gay so IceFrog made it 99%. And + 5000 dmg. GG!!! Walaoeh enemy sure scared shit their pants.
Me: That's all eh? You may go now thanks for coming!
Tommy: Thank you for having me.
Me: Well, that's all, folks! Tune in next time for the next episode!
Full of dota crap.
.-twisted