Hello everyone! The last time I blogged was hmm 4 days ago? Interesting... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
ANYWAY, I have been doing some experiments on myself and I have found out a few interesting facts that I'm sure none of you know about! However, I am not mean and therefore I will share with you my experiences and knowledge.
Okay, the first thing I found out is that hitting your head against something hurts. Yes, it is true. I happened to find this out when I accidentally hit my head against a metal pole. It will hurt unless you hit yourself lightly. However, it will still hurt a bit. Don't believe me? Try it yourself. Satisfaction NOT guaranteed. Duh. You're hitting your freakin head against a freakin metal pole.
Then next I found out that BLOOD IS RED. Yes, I kid you not. It all happened when I scratched my mosquito bite too much and I started bleeding. First I was like "cool I'm leaking" until I found out a second later that it was in fact blood. Yes, I know these truths are a bit disturbing but fact is fact. Once again, if you don't believe me, you can try it yourself. In fact, you don't need at mosquito bite at all. Let me walk you through this difficult procedure.
Step 1: Find a sharp object. Knife, satay stick, pen and so on will do. No worries.
Step 2: Pick up the object.
Step 3: Stab the object, sharp point first, quickly into your heart. (this ALSO proves, that you are not a vampire)
Step 4: If the pain you are experiencing is ignorable, look downward and see that where you stabbed is leaking RED BLOOD.
Go on, try it yourself!
I also found out that when we CANNOT, repeat CANNOT, walk on water. Sadly, water-walking is impossible for the naked feet. I once thought as you do, you know? "Oh look it is a pool of water! Let me walk ON it so i won't cause big splashes!" Well, ever since that day, I have thought different, "Oh look it is a pool of water! Let me walk THROUGH it CAUSE HUMANS CAN'T WALK ON WATER! ='(" You know, I try not to think about it. The more I do the sadder I feel =(
If you don't believe me you can try it out yourself. Go. Go on. Walk on that puddle of water! Why aren't you walking? Scared?! OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH! WHY DO YOU DOUBT?! =D Let me tell you why. COS PEOPLE CAN'T WALK ON WATER.
Another thing I found out is that humans are not made out of metal. I got bored one day so I decided to try to punch through an iron wall with my bare fists. I was like "this is gonna be so fun! I'm gonna break down an iron wall with just my fists!" So I punched...
And I felt nothing but excruciating pain. I was like, aren't are bones lined with adamantium?! Thankfully, I have a very fast regeneration rate. So I tried to extract my claws (adamantium claws) to cut through the iron wall. But no claws came out. So then (take note of this other point, people) I tried to use my 1337 telekinesis skillz but to no avail. This also proves that humans don't have telekinesis. (Sorry, Psychics around the globe. I DONT BELIEVE YOU) And so then I thought
"Hell, why don't I just teleport to the other side?" I put on my gas mask because everytime I teleport I leave behind black smoke. Unfortunately, I have no teleporting powers either. Take note of that!!
Okay, I hope you all have learnt from my post. I went through a lot of hardship just to give you these facts! No, no you don't have to thank me. Just remember me.
.-twisted